Marcus Wood

My fourth Christmas Party weekend awaits.

With still another fortnight to go before Christmas actually arrives I enter this weekend happy in the knowledge that I will eat at least one and probably two turkey dinners.

The Classic Car Club, Torbay Hospitality Association, Paignton Conservatives, Paignton Club, Torbay Conservatives, and IIRC, Kingsbridge Conservatives have so far catered excellently for me this season to which I have to add the MEP's lunch, the Candidates dinner, my firms London Christmas reception; the Honiton office luncheon, the works firm do next weekend, my wifes clients dinner (x2) and then the usual round of dinner with my family and my wife's family all of which will be (probably) turkey and hats all round.

So by Boxing day I will have been offered somewhere in the region of 15 Christmas dinners, easily more than last year - and in fact more than I used to have to eat when I worked in the hotel trade at Christmas!!

And the worst of it is I don't like turkey, or Brussels sprouts, or carrots, or mince pies. So if I come to your organisations Christmas dinner and choose the fish or vegetarian option please don't be offended.